It is often said that when a woman says ‘maybe’, she means ‘yes’; and when she says ‘no’ she means ‘perhaps’. However, this is not the kind of guideline that we can use in the corporate world. In this complex environment, there are many other verbal and tacit methods of saying ‘yes’, ‘perhaps’ or ‘no’.
Rao sends a letter to Ravi of GP Company offering an annual contract service in computer maintenance. Fifteen days later, he sends another letter enclosing a copy of the earlier one, and implying that perhaps Ravi hasn’t received it. A month later, he sends another reminder, and still there is no reply! Rao wonders whether he should now phone Ravi and check whether he will agree to meet him so that he can explain his position further. It certainly speaks of Rao’s perseverance. After all, great industrialists like Jamshedji Tata and Walchand Hirachand also never gave up so easily.
Yet, look at it from Ravi‘s point of view. He receives many letters like this one every month, if not every week. They go into the wastepaper basket, often unopened. The reminders also go there. A phone call from Ravi will have no connecting thread with the letters sent earlier which were thrown away. Ravi does not consider it necessary to reply to every unsolicited offer made and assumes that ‘no reply’ will mean to the sender that there is ‘no interest’.
Prof Goodrich met Shyam in London a few years ago. Goodrich had authored a new book on creativity which received wide acceptance throughout the world. Goodrich asked Shyam whether there was any possibility of running workshops on creativity in India.
Naturally, Shyam asked Goodrich what the faculty fee would be. ‘US$10,000 per day plus business class airfare, five-star hotel lodging and incidental expenses’, was the reply. Shyam told him that this was a stiff fee for India, and perhaps Goodrich might have to settle for a lower fee if he was keen on a workshop in India. Goodrich said that he would think about it, without directly turning down the request to accept a lower fee. They parted cordially and promised to keep in touch.
After doing some preliminary work, Shyam wrote to Goodrich a month later and offered to organise a seminar of two days each at Delhi and Bangalore at US$7000 per day, plus the other terms. There was no reply. He sent a reminder a month later, and then another after two months. There was no reply to these as well. Goodrich was at the same university, but he was not interested. He felt he would be wasting time and money on postage by replying. He chose to remain silent and inactive. Shyam should understand and not pursue this project further.
Sheila said to Raju as he was leaving for Mumbai from New York, “When you get back to India, please phone my sister Rita, and tell her you met me in New York. She’s a very nice person. You will like her, and I’m sure you will both be good friends.” A week after he returned, Raju rang up Rita. She was not at home. He left a message with Rita’s 20-year-old daughter about his meeting with Sheila in NY and the small parcel she had sent for Rita. There was no response. A week later, he phoned again and yet again. He could not get to speak to Rita. She did not call back. On the fourth call, Rita‘s daughter suggested that if it were not inconvenient, could Raju please leave the parcel at the reception of the Willingdon club at Haji Ali, and it would be collected from there? It was an indirect hint - but loud and clear. It was pointless for Raju to pursue Sheila’s suggestion that he get acquainted with Rita.
Roy met Dr Dohad at Flora Fountain in Mumbai. They had worked together on some projects and had got on extremely well, and now they were meeting after four years. They had a long chat and found out how each one was doing. Then Dr Dohad said, “We must meet and have dinner. We cannot wait for a chance meeting.” Roy agreed. He took this literally.
A month later, Roy phoned and asked Dr Dohad and his wife to his house for dinner and invited a few other guests as well. They all had a nice evening.
That was eight years ago. Roy met Dr Dohad by accident a few times during these years. Dr Dohad always ended the conversation with “Roy, we must have you and your wife over for dinner. We’ve been planning to do this for such a long time. We must do this soon.”
It has not happened. It will not happen. Dr Dohad does not want to continue the social relationship and Roy should understand. He should not make the mistake of succumbing to the temptation of inviting the Dohads again.
“Mr Vieira, since you are a consultant to our company, perhaps you might throw some light. What does the managing director really think of my work? Does he think I will progress fast in the company?”
I smiled, “I’m sure he thinks well of you. Why don’t you ask him?”
But Mani is not to be fobbed off so easily. “You have access to private records. Tell me what you honestly think,” Mani pushes me into a corner where I have to say, “I am sorry I cannot tell you. I have to keep professional secrets. There is a code of ethics in this profession, you know.”
Mani was visibly upset by this answer, but he had refused to heed the hints that had been given and the masked refusal. If he was wise, he would have stopped pushing his request much earlier.
In general, as in corporate life, there are situations where a casual ‘no’ may, in fact, turn into ‘yes’ or ‘perhaps’, if persuaded enough. There are situations where it is worth having a ‘thick skin’ while pursuing something as in sales, where ‘selling only begins when the customer says no’. But in most cases, we need to be perceptive enough to identify ‘masked refusals’ and graciously back out of a ‘one-way street’.
(Walter Vieira is a Fellow of the Institute of Management Consultants of India - FIMC. He was a successful corporate executive for 14 years, capping his career as Head of marketing for a Pharma multinational, for India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka- and then pioneered marketing consulting in India in 1975. As a consultant, he has worked across four continents. He was the first Asian elected Chairman of ICMCI, the world apex body of consultants in 45 countries, in 1997. He is the author of 16 books, a business columnist, international conference speaker and has been visiting professor in Marketing in the US, Europe, and Asia for over 40 years. He was awarded Lifetime Achievement Award for Consulting in 2005, and for Marketing in 2009. He now spends much of his time in NGO work - Consumer Education and Research Centre, IDOBRO, and some others.)
