The news item on Vinesh Phogat, who lost the gold medal at the Paris Olympics but won millions of hearts around the world, made me think again of the concept of TRUST.
There is an old story about a monk in the Middle East who lived in a cave and became a recluse to the rest of the world. For over 20 years, he lived within that cave and prayed—and took a vow never to step out to the outside world again.
One of the sceptics among his followers decided to test the monk’s resolve. He had mentally decided to make a fool of the monk and to show his followers, that the monk was not a saint but as human as anyone else.
One morning, a disciple rushed into the cave and excitedly shouted- “Come out, oh holy saint, there is a cow that is flying out there.” The monk came out, and the disciple laughed and said, “How could you, such a learned and holy man, believe that a cow would fly?”
The monk looked at the young man with great sorrow and said, “I prefer to believe that a cow can fly; than that my friend will tell a lie.”
The monk had trusted and his trust had been betrayed!
Executive etiquette has six dimensions that are specified—and among them is the ability to use discretion. The business executive (and also other professions like medicine, law, et al) is privy to many confidences. Some of these are corporate secrets, for example, work being done in research and development, long-term plans of the company, and contemplation of mergers, acquisitions and sellouts.
The business executive is privy to the annual appraisals of the staff that work with him and to the top management discussions and opinions on various employees. He will know the personal problems of many of his subordinates - perhaps that Sam’s son is a drug addict and has dropped out of school; or that Tom’s wife has become an alcoholic; or that John is having a marital problem.
It is so easy for the business executive to talk loosely and show off how much he knows. Perhaps, at a cocktail party where tongues are loosened, and in moments of weakness he will reveal all. The juicy bits will make the rounds, as they always do and reach back to 'the object' of the conversation—who will then lose ‘trust’ in his boss.
Good management, in great measure, is based on implicit trust. If the subordinate does not trust his superior and considers him insincere, deceitful and untrustworthy, the superior cannot be the leader he is supposed to be. Maybe he will have all the trappings of leadership—the externals. But it will NOT be leadership which has righteously evolved and is welcomed.
In a world of changing value systems, the keeping of confidence seems to be getting increasingly difficult. In recent times, the list of betrayals is a long one. There are biographies written on the life and times of John and Robert Kennedy, written by those who were close to them and, one assumes, they were trusted by the Kennedys. There is the confidante of Princess Diana who consoled her and in whom she placed trust, and who immediately went on to write a book to ‘disclose all’ and make a quick buck.
There is Jackie Kennedy’s own sister who now tells us all the guarded secrets in a book with new disclosures. There is the young lady who offered a temptation to Bill Clinton when he was president of the US—and required very little encouragement to disclose it all, and perhaps even more than what really happened?
All this is not to condone extra-marital affairs. It is really a commentary on trust and confidence betrayed, in many areas of life and living.
We can see the level of trust in our own country being continuously lowered. Some politicians move at the highest level from one party to another (because they have been denied a ticket?) and then back again to the original party, where they are accepted and even offered additional incentives like Cabinet positions!
Can a manager then, having seen what happens in companies and in the wide world around him, become a complete cynic?
Many years ago, when I worked in the corporate world, my boss was among my best friends. He remembered my birthday and wedding anniversary (even when I had forgotten). There was always a nice gift on these occasions. Some years down the line, he was under fire from his boss, and he perceived me as a threat who could possibly be ready and eager to step into his shoes. He then distanced himself from me. He found excuses to show incompleteness in my work which, till then, was excellent. All the ills of the company were laid at my door. I had known many of his secrets, inside and outside the office. Should I have done a Lewinsky on him? The temptation was great, but he had trusted me in ‘fair weather’, though he might have changed the direction of the sails in foul weather.
When there is no trust, there can also be inadequate delegation of authority to those who report to you. When there is no trust, there can be no completeness in your leadership. Good leaders have followers who trust them, and, in some ways, that trust is reciprocated. Good leaders are good coaches or teachers—and teachers need to have trust in those they teach and in their abilities.
There is much in the world, corporate and otherwise, that can make cynics of all of us and want to be “sufficient unto ourselves”. But, in spite of it all, we know that we can live a more meaningful life only if we can trust at least those who we think presently deserve it—for it may be “better to have trusted and been betrayed, than never to have trusted at all.”
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Walter Vieira is a Fellow of the Institute of Management Consultants of India - FIMC. He was a successful corporate executive for 14 years, capping his career as Head of marketing for a Pharma multinational, for India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka- and then pioneered marketing consulting in India in 1975. As a consultant, he has worked across four continents. He was the first Asian elected Chairman of ICMCI, the world apex body of consultants in 45 countries, in 1997. He is the author of 16 books, a business columnist, international conference speaker and has been visiting professor in Marketing in the US, Europe, and Asia for over 40 years. He was awarded Lifetime Achievement Award for Consulting in 2005, and for Marketing in 2009. He now spends much of his time in NGO work - Consumer Education and Research Centre, IDOBRO, and some others.)
