Goldman Sachs executives invariably described their clients as ‘muppets’, a disparaging term equivalent to ‘bakras’ in Hindi. Indian banks seem to have similar attitude to their customers, according to this first-hand account

I am a “classic customer” (whatever that means) of HDFC Bank. On 22nd February, I got a message from the bank saying that I had withdrawn a certain amount of money from an ATM on 31st January. This was strange because normally one gets such a message immediately after using the card and that is most welcome and efficient way of doing things.

The card number in the message was correct but I had not drawn the money. I checked to make sure that the amount, which was substantial, had not been debited to my account. I enquired with my “personal banker”. (I do not understand this concept of personal banker, but more about that later.)

When I called her about my problem, she said it was a system error and if the amount had not debited to the account, there was nothing to be worried about. This attitude tells you how much a bank cares for you. She also said that she would take it up with the concerned department. When I got no feedback from her, I wrote to the MD of the bank.

I immediately got a call from a senior officer from my branch expressing regret for the message. She also admitted that the matter is serious and such a thing should not have happened. I also got a mail from the MD’s office expressing deep regret and once again blaming the technology. The bank also complimented me for having taken the trouble of bringing this to their notice and how helpful I had been!

My question is why does the bank not realise that its system is malfunctioning and causing trouble to its customers? I wrote to the MD’s office saying that the excuse of technology being the culprit is unacceptable. Banks these days try and hide their inefficiencies behind the technology that they chose and implement. My second mail has not been answered till date. However this incident raises more concerns.

My big problem now is: What if the bank debits the said amount on a later date, saying that the technology had failed and the amount was debited by mistake to someone else’s account and that the mistake is rectified now? What do I do if this happens? To this there is no answer.

The second incident happened with the same bank. I got a message that there was an amount outstanding in my demat account; that I must regularize the account immediately and that I should contact their nearest branch. My demat account is linked to my savings account and all charges are directly debited to that account. The amount involved was very small and hence the possibility that my account did not have sufficient balance was most unlikely.

The next day I got a message to ignore the message sent the day earlier and expressing regret if any inconvenience was caused. I think apologizing with such phrases is an absolute insult... Once again the explanation was glitch in technology!

 I can understand such messages going to customers who do not have sufficient balance in their accounts. Subsequently I found out that many demat holders of the bank had received this same message on the same day.

The third incident was with IDBI bank. I wanted to transfer money from a savings account to an FD. I did the transaction online and I was told I will get the FD receipt by post. However, I realised that the amount was not even debited to my savings account. I went to the branch and asked why this has happened.

I was told the system does not accept transactions in joint accounts! The banks themselves rightly advise customers to have joint accounts as far as possible and to have nominees for all accounts. I was informed the system is designed like this and so the FD was not created!

This is ridiculous. The process did not ask me whether I wanted to make the FD in a single account or a joint account. Since my savings account is a joint E or S (either or survivor) account the FD should have been on a joint account unless instructed otherwise.

I spoke to someone I know in the bank. I was told that the bank would have to make changes in the system. Only the IT company could do that and the bank would have to pay. I was also informed that such changes have been carried out by another which uses the same software!

I think many people suffer such cruel jokes from most banks. Private sector and foreign banks, which are so proud about their “superior technology”, are the worst offenders.

I go back to this concept of personal banker. The lady designated as my personal banker once called me and said she would like to meet me. I went to the branch and asked why she wanted to meet me.

She said she could offer me many products. I said I do not need that advice since I am convinced that young bankers these days hardly understand banking. I am not willing to take investment advice from such people. Then she asked me to at least invest in an FD through her. I told her I can make an FD online. Why do I need her for this?

If the customer does not need them, why create personal bankers at all?