The idea of dating apps was to revolutionise the way people meet and form relationships. However, alongside the benefits of these digital matchmaking platforms, a darker side has emerged: dating app scams or honey traps. These scams have become increasingly sophisticated, preying on individuals' emotions and trust. More and more people are reporting a new fraud where they are lured to visit a restaurant with a 'companion' they met online and incur quite a hefty bill for two people. After the drinks or dinner, the companion or the date vanishes.
Documentary filmmaker and men's rights activist
Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj exposed the scam taking place in Mumbai. Earlier, there were reports about people being scammed in New Delhi and Hyderabad, but now, the scam has reached Mumbai. "These are not men scamming men in the guise of a woman online. These are real women who are confidently scamming a guy every single day. I don't know what the share they get from bill amount is, but they are surely at it every day."
In
a series of posts on X (erstwhile Twitter), Ms Bhardwaj named 'The Red Room' restaurant from Andheri west that is used in these cases. She says different names are used for this club, and someone is trapped daily in this scam. "The trap is laid through dating apps like Tinder and Happn. There are six victims in touch with me who are scammed at the same club. Their dinner bill (for two) ranges from Rs23,000 to Rs43,000."
The social activist describes the modus operandi in this scam: "The victim and the woman meet via a dating app. Saying that she is a make-up artist and just arrived in Mumbai, the woman pushes for a quick meeting (at the restaurant). Without showing the menu card to the guy, she orders the costliest drinks. Drink served to her is fake, and she gulps many. Within an hour, the bill comes in thousands of rupees. After the meeting, she absconds and then blocks the guy."
"Same woman is going on a spree catching men every day. Just from these six men, three got conned by the same woman. What is concerning is that many of them got assaulted and beaten up. They did not report as some of them were clearly threatened of false case," Ms Bhardwaj says.
The restaurant named by Ms Bhardwaj, however, denied the allegations that girls from dating sites and pubs collude to dupe customers. Hema Chowdhary, one of the partners of the AMPH and the Red Room pub, told
mid-day that "The menu of my pub is expensive for which we pay tax to the government. The price of every item is listed on the menu. Apart from the internal staff, the public relations (PR) team also work for the pub; they bring in customers and take a commission on the bill. Allegations that girls from dating sites and pubs collude to dupe customers are baseless and false. The allegations of beating up a customer are false."
While the modus operandi in dating scams or honey traps taking place in Mumbai and other cities is indigenous, the world over, these scams remain a significant concern, affecting roughly one in every 20 users.
According to the
Avast Q4/2023 Threat Report, there has been a stark rise in dating scams over the past year. "And, even more concerning, we are seeing a spike not just in the bustling cities of Central Europe and North America, but as far-reaching as the vibrant landscapes of the Middle East and Asia."
At the heart of dating scams lies a tale as old as time, reimagined for the digital era: The search for love and human connection. Scammers create fake profiles, luring online daters in with beautiful profile images, super early expressions of love, and constant availability—at least via text. Once a romance scammer has their victim hooked, it is time for 'The Ask' (for money or personal details, including financials).
Dating app scammers employ a variety of tactics to deceive their victims. In a classic romance scam, the scammer creates an appealing and convincing profile to attract potential victims. They often use stolen photos of attractive individuals and fabricate compelling backstories. Once they establish a connection with the victim, they quickly profess deep feelings and intentions of a serious relationship.
Over time, they fabricate stories about financial emergencies, such as medical bills, travel expenses, or family crises, and request money from the victim. In most cases, the scammer often insists on maintaining the relationship online, avoiding in-person meetings or video calls.
Other types of dating app scams are sextortion and investment fraud. Sextortion scams involve manipulating victims into sharing intimate photos or videos, which the scammer then uses to blackmail them. The scammer threatens to release the compromising material unless the victim pays a ransom. These scams can be emotionally and financially devastating, as victims fear the social and personal consequences of exposure.
Investment scams are sophisticated and may involve fake investment apps to show the victim made-to-order (read: fake) profits. In this scam, fraudsters establish a romantic connection and then persuade the victim to invest in fake businesses, investment opportunities, or ventures. They may provide false documents and elaborate stories to make the investment seem legitimate. Victims, believing they are supporting their partner's endeavours, often lose substantial amounts of money.
Dating app scams can have devastating emotional and financial consequences for the victims, who are often left feeling betrayed, honey trapped and financially depleted.
"True love rarely asks for a wire transfer. Be wary of profiles that seem lifted from a fairy tale or love interests who escalate things too quickly. If they are dodging meet-ups or suddenly find themselves in a financial pickle, alarm bells should ring," says Avast.
Here are a few suggestions to help you avoid becoming a victim of dating apps...
1. Be sceptical of too-good-to-be-true profiles
Profiles on dating apps with exceptionally attractive photos and overly idealistic descriptions should raise suspicion. Scammers often use stolen images of models or public figures. Conduct a reverse image search to verify the authenticity of profile pictures.
A message shared by one of the victims with Ms Bhardwaj says, "Seems like the girl in (the) app is different, girl talking on the phone is different and actual one that meets on a date is different."
2. Verify identity
Don't be scared to act as your own detective! Do a proper search of the name shared by the 'date' on social media. You can also use reverse image search from Google or any other site, to find out if the image matches with a name. If the image matches with multiple names or profiles, it’s time to wind up.
3. Avoid sharing personal information
Be cautious about sharing personal information, such as your home address, financial details, or intimate photos, with someone you have just met online. Scammers can use this information for identity theft or blackmail.
4. Be wary of financial requests
Never send money to someone you have not met in person, regardless of the circumstances they describe. Scammers often create urgent and emotional scenarios to pressure victims into transferring funds. If you feel compelled to help, consider alternative ways to verify their story or offer assistance without providing financial support.
"It is okay to keep your heart open, but your wallet closed," Avast says. "No matter how compelling the story, financial transactions with someone you have only known online and never met in person are a direct route to regret."
5. Trust your instincts
If something feels off or too rushed, you must trust your instincts. Scammers often use psychological manipulation to create a sense of urgency or guilt. Take your time to evaluate the situation and seek advice from friends or family.
6. Report suspicious activity
If you suspect that you are being targeted by a scammer, report the profile to the dating app's support team immediately. Most platforms have mechanisms in place to investigate and remove fraudulent accounts. Additionally, you can report the scam to your local police station.
Fraudsters are always looking for newer ways to find and then dupe gullible people. Online dating apps are no exception to this. Remember, awareness is a powerful tool in preventing scams.
By understanding the different tactics used by fraudsters and taking proactive steps to protect yourself, you can navigate the world of online dating with greater confidence and security.
Just like there are no quick and easy moneybags to earn, the quest for love in the age of digital dating is fraught with risks.
Remember, if something feels too good to be true, it probably is. Stay vigilant, trust your instincts, and prioritise your safety in all online interactions.
Stay Alert, Stay Safe!
